I had to miss a few days of Bloggin' due to extreme hungoverness......
Went out, as usual, on Friday. I did have original plans that got flushed and just when I thought I was going to spend the night in, my brother calls and invites me to a cd launch. I got there just in time to not hear the final applause. Oh well, I'm sure it was good. Hung out at the launch site for a little while, by coincidence my crush was dj-ing there....Figures. But surprisingly enough I was cool. I went over to say hello and kept it real chill. We chatted bit and then I was off to go to Roy bar with a few girlfriends. Well that wasn't enough for me I needed my usual fix of Saphir. So I went there by myself in an attempt to make myself more social.
Got there and chatted with my bar girls and ran into a few friends. A guy tried to pick me up with the line : ' Do you floss before or after you brush?'. I told him to get a life and went on about my business. Had a good time, was super wasted and came back home to sleep it off cause I knew I had a party to attend the next day.
I slept in til 2 that afternoon, rushed around to make a cake to bring and was off again to drink it up.
The party was amazing we all had a great time. We were all there to celebrate the soon to be wedding of two great friends. We had a blast. The music was great, drinks were all over, but it was to be in the company of amazing friends that toped off the evening....Well that and the lego-man pyramid (drool, drool, drool). Then the 'pimp stick' came out and some of us got a whooping. My caboose is black and blue and still hurts to sit on the left cheek. I have a clear path of stick shaped bruises all along my back end......Well it's not a party until someone gets spanked right?
Tomorrow is wedding day for the two hosts and I wish them all the very best. It's great to see people in love and being happy together. But even better is adding a new friend to the directory.
HAPPY WEDDING DAY!!!!!
XXXXXX

Okay I may have been a little dramatic in my last post but you know what it sucks. Why does a guy have to make you feel like crap? Why does this affect us SO much? It's quite annoying and frankly, it's irritating me. I'm sick of games; does he? Or doesn't he? And when do I call when will he call blah blah blah.....It's too much and it should be way easier than that. Or maybe the problem is that we spent too much time sitting around and thinking about al these things.....
I may just have to give up, go with the flow and que sera sera. If it should be then it shall- otherwise I'm going to be 75 and living with twenty cats.

meow

Sooo......After work last night I had planned to go out for a quiet drink by myself and go home to soak my sore tired feet and get to bed early- Instead, my brother calls me when I'm just through my double gin and tonic and half way to the train to go home. He invites me out to a show. I had sad no but my rubber arm was twisted and I ended up going. The show was at Cafe Campus and was three bands, two of which were really awesome: Hot Springs and Malajube. On the way there I had a feeling, that funny feeling that your going to run into someone you know. I knew who it was, I was just kinda hoping not to run into him.
Within half an hour of being there and thinking I'd seen him five times, I saw him for real. We were talking and drinking and I turned around and I felt my body go numb. This time it was him for sure, standing not 5 feet away from me. I promptly went to the bar to light a smoke hoping that by the time I'd turn around he's be either gone or come to say hi.
But as I turned around, he was there talking to my brother, I did the oh hey what's up and got the standard double cheek kisses. And then the vacant nothing to say stare. And then I felt so incredibly ridiculous with nothing to say that I literally hid next to my brother until their conversation was over and we went back to watch the show. I didn't even say later or goodbye, I literally put my hands over my face and followed my brother downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs my brother gave me the 'are you ok?' look and a big hug.
I cant really explain what it is this guy does to me but it's really irritating. He renders me completely unable to think and be normal not in the way it originally did. Like when you have a mega crush on someone and you get nervous and happy, now it's just like I feel like such an ass and incredibly embarrassed around him. I really don't know what I was thinking about when I though he may be into me. And now when I see him which is usually two times a week when I go out I just cant help but feel like all that time he was being nice to me cause he's a friend of my brother's and out of pure politeness he's nice to me. And that maybe a few shared makeout sessions were based on nothing more than me be available at the time, and in reality it could have been anyone.
So I was thinking about that all day today while I went on a cleaning rampage of my room. I also reflected on the fact that three people asked me why I was still single. STILL.
Truth is I don't know, well actually I think I do know why now. I'm completely unsocial. I have ZERO social skills. I have no idea how to initiate conversations or sustain one. I'm not really well read or partivcualrily smart and I guess I just feel like I have nothing interesting to say.
Not being social can be a big obstacle in meeting people. I literally search for things to say before I go out. Try and think if anything funny happened at work, if I had a funny dream or learnt something new......
I need a social instructor. That and to loose 10 pounds.

Friday/Monday Five

1. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?

I haven't had much romance in my life, but I guess the most romantic was getting flowers for the first time. My guy at the time was really sweet and gave me roses and wrote me a poem in Spanish. It was really sweet and completely out of the blue, for no particular reason or occasion- I still have the poem in a shoe box under my bed.

2. Who was your first love?

* see above... He was the first person I had dated that I told them I loved them. I think we were together for like 8 months (the longest one to date)and briefly did an on again off again deal.

3. Chocolates, flowers, or something else?

I'm not crazy about receiving a BOX of chocolates. I would probably enjoy like a bag of candy more than an box of chocolates. Like a bag of those delicious sour/chewy cherries....yum.Flowers For some reason make me happy- They smell nice and make me think of summer, sun, the 'back valley' and home.

4. Do you believe in love at first sight?

The only people who believe in that are people who've experienced it- So no I don't believe in it now... I do believe in lust at first sight though. I guess I just cant really imagine how after seeing someone for the first time ever in your life you can say - 'yup that's the one- this is my soul mate, then on I'll love for eternity...'

5. What do you have planned for this Valentine's Day?

Let's see, I've planned myself a real exciting day. I' going into work from 10H40- 19H10, then I'm going to go to a bar and have a drink and then I'm going home. From there I may just play playstation online or take inventory of my make-up.

need I say more??? 

Went out to a house party with wonderful friends.....Highlight of the night...Seeing steph dancing around to Hole while her husband to be watched her lovingly bounce around the apartment. Great party, great friends...And who would have thunk it, but I got a gift. The gift of wonderful musakkkkkkkkkk. I got a vinyl of NKOTB by pure coincidence.....Don't really know if it was coincidence but either way I'm more than happy.

Thanks Steph, thanks Joe, you guys truly truly rock.

Too bad I had to work early ...well later on today, cause I was really ready to just stay and get the party going. Who knows who I would have kissed next.....

james lipton 
These 10 questions originally came from a French series, "Bouillon de Culture" hosted by Bernard Pivot. It is probably more familiar to many as the question James Lipton asks at the end of "Inside the Actor's Studio."

What is your favorite word?
Hearing 'Thank You' makes me happy.

What is your least favorite word?
'Stupid'. It always sounds so harsh and demeaning. I don't like hearing people being called stupid or worse being called stupid myself. No one is stupid, just uninformed.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
An experienced mind. Someone who is passionate about what they do, who have a love for life. People who inspire me turn me on.

What turns you off?
Negative attitudes. People who are quick to judge others. Bad breath and body odor.

What is your favorite curse word?
F*CK


What sound or noise do you love?
Laughter. Nothing is better than hearing someone explode with side splitting laughter and seeing them smile and being happy.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Crying, sadness, desperation.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I'd always dreamt of being an actress or model. But I know I'm more of a behind the scenes person.

What profession would you not like to do?
I'd love to be a real professional make-up artist. It's my dream to be internationally known. It's what I've always wanted to be and hopefully someday will be.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
If Heaven exists, and for that matter if God exists, I'd like him to tell me that I have served my time on earth well. That I had been a good daughter, good sister, trustworthy friend and companion and helpful to those who needed me.

I went back to work today- came back to a dirrrty counter... There must have been like an inch of dust on everything......Suspiciously as if no one had cleaned it since...Well since I had been off sick FOR ONE WEEK!!!! So my morning was spent cleaning up and dusting things off....Not the way I really wanted to start my day but, that's the way it happened, you heard it here first.
But as the day went on I got back into the swing of things by lunch time. SO it's back to ye ole' routine.
I have a killer headache though and staring at the computah screen isn't really helping, so I
m cutting it short for now, just felt the need to update so SOME people wont complain about seeing the same post for too long, especially ones about the Scissor Sisters......

FRIDAY FIVE

1. Do you use profanity?

Damn straight

2. What are your favorite words of frustration?

It can vary depending on the situation and if young children are present. But I swear pretty often, no need to piss me off, I'll do it just because. i.e;
it's a f*cking beautiful day...G*d damn it's nice out! Holy mutherf*ckin' sh*t the sun is shining!
I try not to incorporate God in all my swearing especially at work cause some people I work with are pretty religious so I'll f*cking r-e-s-p-e-c-t their a*s's and leave JC and his crew outta this.

3. Did your parents ever swear in front of you?

Not as children. I never really remember them fighting or swearing. I guess I must have first heard it in movies and at the playground.....

4. Do you think that films should be rated based on the language they use?

Like English movies should be rated "E" and like French movies should be rated "F"??? Oh I get it, should the rating be based on the use of profanity...Well aren't they already? Are you just asking my opinion on something that already exists? What's going on here? f*ck this question...

5. If you could curse at someone right now, who would it be?

Oh gee golly willekers... Who am I mad enough right now to bitch out? No one has really pissed me off lately, I've been irritated by people but not mad..Oh no wait there is something I might have to say to someone....:
Look you f*cking douche bag, go f*ck yourself.

actually that statement can be applied to a few people I know.
F*CK THE FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

it's day 5 of the flu. Wont be at work tomorrow either.....I really was excited to go see Bionic play at Sala Rosa tomorrow night but can't really imagine myself being able to stand up or tolerate a loud rock show, especially considering I can't make it up the stairs without a coughing fit or breaking out in a sweat, standing makes me dizzy and sneezing gives my a headache. Booo. This'll be the second time I miss them....But who knows, maybe by miracle I'll be completely cured by tomorrow....

I think I may try and get out of the house.....Like a walk around the block or maybe just standing in front of an open window for like 15 minutes while walking in place, that way if I get tired, I can just lie down.

I had a repeat dream again last night, same location, different situation...Even my dreams are boring. I have to get out tomorrow.....I'd love to get a good book, but it hurts my head to look at the words, a puzzle will make my insane....What to do???? If you have any helpful advice, please add them in the comments area below:

a flu haiku:


YOU MAKE MY NOSE RUN,
EVERY MOVEMENT HURTS ME
OH FLU, I HATE YOU



Day 4 of the flu. It's not getting any better. Just getting up to get ginger ale is an event. Half way up the stairs and I break out into a cold sweat. I'm out of breath after a shower (a shower that I have to sit down in half way through).
But besides that aches and pains, the dribbly nose, the sore lungs and the constant sneezing/coughing- it's the boredom. Increadible boredom. Daytime TV has got to be the dullest thing ever. I sit in bed because I haven't the energy to do anything else. My bed has become either uncomfortably hot or cold. The couch hurts my back. I can't talk on the phone cause my voice hurts- or my throat hurts rather... Food isn't an option. I think the only way I'd be comfortable is if I was floating in water, but not on the surface, not on the bottom, in between. But then there's that breathing thing.....
The flu dreams are crazy too. I wake up and I'm sure the dreams I've had are true. One was that I went downhill skiing, the path was really familiar and when I woke up and really thought about it. It was the same path as from a previous dream.
It's weird, lately I've been having an unusual amount of 'deja vue's' and lots of dreams that the scenery is the same, but the dream isnt....Have I run out of imagination? Has my brain reached full capacity at 26? Can't I think of something else to dream of??? What if I'm stuck with this amount of imagination and creativity?
bummer.