Why am I so happy you ask?

Well not only do I have the next 4 days off thanks to Labour day, but I also found "the" pair of boots. They are exactly what I've been looking for and now they belong to me!

They are comfy for about two hours, I figure they are going to take a lot of breaking in...But it's so worth it..I love them. I'm broke but it's worth eating PBJ for lunch every day for the next 2 weeks...

Only have time for a short blog. Have to try and get my Apple II games to work for me here. It was very neat to hear and play the old games again.

Had a reasonable day at work. It was a little slow but eventually it ended.

If people don't really care or want to hear how you are, then why do they ask? I just felt as thought whenever I answered someone who asked me how I was they were irritated by my answer. I ain’t going to lie, I feel tired and blah. I'm guessing people are tired of me being tired, but no one is as tired of be tired as me. It's no picnic. But just to please people I’m going to answer fine from now on. This better not be something like mono....that would just suck, and my doctor is on vacation until next wednesday, that sucks even more.


Want to hear something shocking? I Susannah Rupnik am going to be taking a shotrt flight. Yes you heard correctly, I am goignt o fly. The opportunuty is there and the flight is from here to Toronto so only an hour or so..baby steps...baby steps...I am ataying calm by not talking about it. I don;t need to hear from anyone how easy it it. It's easy for you, but not for me, I'm just going t o take it as well as I can....This is only going to be in about a month or so, to go to my grandmum's funeral. Breathe Suse, breathe.


Okay gotta go try and be geeky now..

Missed another day of bloggin’....But I was out at my brother’s place and got home a little late and a little car sick...

I had a real good time over there. Chris showed me how he could play old Apple II plus games on his computer. We played “up and down”, “Hard hat mack” and “Minautor”..ahhh the classics, he will tell me how to do it for my computer too...soon I hope..!

Came home from work early today. I felt a funny this morning. Actually it only really hit me once I had gotten to work. I felt a little dizzy and nauseous... So I was going to trey and tough out the day but what for really? To feel even worse? So I decided to call it quits to come home and rest. Which is what I’ve been doing. When I got home I got right into my jammies, and cuddled under my cover s and went to sleep for like 4 hours. It felt real good, but now I’m a little groggy.

Well it’s tuesday, and at least I know I can count on one person to submit topis for the endangered topic tuesday. Yes I know George ha too but talking about trepidation and 10$ lap dances isn’t quite what I had in mind.

TOPIC TUESDAY: FAVOURITE VACATION

Since I’ve never really been on a vacation as an adult, I’ll have to say that the time that my Dad, Lucas, Aimee and I went to Ocean City New Jersey. This was like 12-13 years ago.....when I was about 10-11???

We drove all the way there. Nine hours in the car..the small two seater car. I remember being crammed into the back seat, this was before the days of me getting car sick so long drives were never a problem.

So we drove and drove, passed by New York, made pit stops along the way. But I remember being so excited when we were almost there. It would be the first time I had been to the ocean and I couldn’t wait!

We eventually got there and we drove right to the beach, which was closed but we went anyway. And we all jumped into the ocean, fully clothed and splash and swam around. It was really very exciting.

We then when to my Aunt Sophie’s house where we were going to be staying. She lived, no joke, two blocks fro the beach. I love my aunt but she’s a little whacky. She’s really into crafts, but the kitshy kind of crafts...lots of sequins on everything. She had all these display cases in her house with dolls, doilies and knick knacks that she had made.

We stayed there for two weeks I think and everyday we went to the beach. My dad took us out shopping for new bathing suit and bought me my first bikini. God when I think about it know it was so hideous! It was on OP which was sooo cool to me and the bottoms were baby bleu with a band of peach at the top that had like silver, blue, ;ink fabric paint in a weird design and the top was peach and twisted in the middle so that one boob was peach, the other blue...oh man...and we shopped around at he surf shops too and I can still remember the smell of the sun block we bought. I was that stick sunblock that surfers put on their noses and under their eyes...not very styling of my.

We also went to the boardwalk which was really awesome. We bought the delicious pastries and I bought (or my dad bought rather) friendship bracelets and anklets, all of which I lost in the ocean. And we saw so many things...

I remember that when we went to the beach in the morning, the bach was covered with dead horseshoe crabs. If you don’t know what these are, you’re lucky. The look like something from the dinosaur age, really creepy. I saw dolphins jumping in the wave, got a bite from a sand shark and saw tons of hot lifeguards!

I made a friend there too. I don;t really remember her name, but just know that we hung out almost the entire time I was there. My sister would tan with my aunts young neighbours...that’s it, just tan.

And we just basically spent the entire trip on the beach or on the boardwalk. One complaint thought. My Aunt is a little...how can I put this...cheap. We ate spaghetti and crappy tomato sauce about 90% of the time we were there. And I don;t mean fresh spaghetti either. She’d make a huge quantity=uantity on monday, and that would last us until friday...We ate it every night while watching Threes’ Company. And that was the first time I had ever taste Dr.Pepper too. We didn’t it have it in Canada yet at hat point.

SO that was my favourite vacation.. I’m going to try and go back to Ocean City. Maybe next summer for a little vacation a t the beach... I would have liked to have gone this year, but time just went by too fast, this way I can have time to really plan it out.

I can’t believe that I’m up this early on sunday of all days.

I know....ten thirty isn’t that early, but when you work late the night before and only get into bed at like one thirty and actually fall asleep at around two thirty-three....ten is pretty early.

I awoke to the puppy jumping on my bed and licking my face until I got up. I tried to resist but she is one persistent dog. So I get up and go see my mum who is busy in the kitchen. And we do the usual chit chat.....have breakfast and now, here I am.

I do have a few things I need to do today, unfortunately it’s all things like laundry and cleaning, but it has to be done so....

Yesterday was so weird working at a different store. I worked at the “Granola Gap”. This Gap is near where all the “hippies” live. I put quotes around hippie cause really all they are is pot smoking dirty kids who like wearing hemp jewellery and beads....

So this Gap has a large amount of the hippies (granola’s). I don’t think I could stand working there full time. All them employees are really weird and frankly, a little smelly. They were either uber gay (like most male gap employees) or really dirty. And VERY Québécois.

I was working the back store and he stock boys were playing music. You should have hear this music. I was like techno whale sounds with voices saying stuff like “live for everyone” “life is just a game”....oh man, get me outta here. So I suffered with that for about three hours then, as there always is, there’s this “funny” guy./ You know that one. The guy who thinks he’s a real riot and talks really loud and feels it necessary to make comments on everything? Well, someone put on a U2 cd, and he thought it was necessary too sing along. But in french, translating all the words.
So “where the streets have no name” turned into: “ou les rues on pas do noms” and this went on for then ENTIRE album. Then when we listened to he cd AGAIN, he sang them all in english with his really heavy québécois accent “ where da treats hav no nam”.. HA ha ha this guy was a real riot....not.

Oh yes and then we had the pleasure of listening to Madonna. Which is fine with me, but this guy only had a single so there was like three songs on it and we listened to it no joke 6-7 times in a loop. And no one said anything. And when someone tried to change it, he threw a hissy fit and refused. So the music foe the evening consisted of
-Madonna single (x7)
-U2 (X3)
-Korn (x1)
-System of a down (x2)

All I could think about was finishing real fast and leaving early.
Which I did.

And to think I get to go there again this week...I’d better bring earplugs.

I don’t mind going to other stores to work, but it’s where to eat when I’m there. I hate eating with the people I’m training, I don;t really know them and usually don’t have much to say to them. I really prefer just eating alone, but I can’t really say “okay you go eat and I’m going to go somewhere else...see you in a n hour..” Well I could, but that would just be rude.

SO that was yesterday. On friday my mum and I went to the new Simon’s store in Laval. It’s freaking huge. It’s like 1.5 times bigger than the one downtown and they seem to have much more selection. I found a pair of jeans that could pass as Gap after I make a few alterations.....And we poked around the newly renovated mall for a while and then went out and got coffee and came back home. It was a real nice day with my mum.

And that’s my week-end I guess, nothing too exciting. And now I have to get busy on my laundry and cleaning.

Wheee!

I really need to get my act together on this updating thing...

Last night I started to type out an entry and then half way through I was overcome by fatigue and just didn’t feel like writing anymore. SO now I’m starting fresh.

This work week has just flown by! I can’t believe that it’s almost over... I do have today off, but only because I have to work a crappy shift tomorrow, saturday. I am working a fabulous three to midnight, and at a crappy little store too! Oh well, money is money right?

SO now I’m waiting for the movers to arrive. I am having a table and a few other things delivered. I got the table free form work. It’s a table they aren’t using anymore. It’s pretty big, white and round, we may use it as our kitchen table......we haven’t decided yet...I’m just lucky that I can get it here with these movers. I’m hoping they aren’t going o charge too much, they had other deliveries to make and some around here so it’s not like they were going out of their way right?? I’ll keep you updated.

Yesterday at work I was very happy to find out that I was being taken out to lunch by my general manager, along with two other managers (Michel, Michel and Nathalie for those who know em). SO we went to move and pick, a neat little restaurant where you chose what you want from “theme” stands. You can go to the Italian stand, Swiss stands, Japanese stand, seafood stand...you get the idea.. We all had burgers and fries which was really good, not really part of my diet plan, but really really good!

So we ate, chatted, and I thought it was going to be awkward because I was worried about not having anything to say but we laughed and laughed. I was lots of fun to go out with then and not be talking about work. And it was nice, at then end of lunch, they each thanked me for a week of really hard work and how much they appreciated my open-mindedness with some changes that have been going on......and them my manager picked up my bill....Being a “yes” girl is not only really easy, but lots of fun. Everyone seems to like the “yes” girl. It’s much easier than arguing with then. This is not to say that i’m going to agree with everything, but most things if it keeps the peace.

Know what else was nice about lunch? Instead of my usual hour, we stayed out for like and hour and a half, hour and 45 minutes....ah the luxury of eating with managers..I could get used to it!

But seriously I was nice of him, to recognize me and to show his appreciation for me. I t felt really good. Made me feel better about my job, more confident....just a good feling.

And now I’m here typing and freezing my buns off. I dunno why but it is really cold in the house right now, I’m going to have to go and take a walk outside i the sun to warm up or have a hot chocolate or something.

Have to wait for the movers and then my mum and I are going shoping at the new HUGE Simons store that opened in Laval....Good thing I paid my bill.

Opops movers are here.....gotta go...

My entries have been so erratic the past few weeks, but it isn;t for a lack of wanting to , more a lack of time...But I’m here now and I have some time to spare, so I’m going to take advantage..

SO you wanted me to talk about my first interaction with a computer eh???

TOPIC TUESDAY: MY FIRST COMPUTER EXPERIENCE
(sorry Georgy, I have no desire to research stripper, anyway, there is a two page spread about them ion the Journal do Montreal today, so go read about it there)

So.. Lets see.. I have o go waaayy back to remember this. You see computers have been present in my family for as long as I can remember. I thing my brother Lucas taught himself hoe to read on a computer.. He was programming computers before he was even in school!

SO, the very first memory of a computer that I have...... was the Apple II plus. It was big, beige and wonderful. It was so cool. There was this big machine and when you put this floppy (yes I said floppy) disk in, you could play all sorts of wonderful games. The first game I remember playing was...Well the name I can’t remember but it was a driving game and you drove through blue blocks?? I know that my siblings will remember the name, I however can’t right now....

SO that was our first of many many computers. I remember playing on it all the time. You have to remember that this was like the early eighties and not too many people had computers so this was a big deal..

My favorite computer out of them all? Well this one of course cause it’s fast and reliable and the screen is gynormous.. But the most fun was probably either the Atrari XL( was it xl?)( for games like Mule and New York City) but I played the most games on the..uh..the....uh oh, memory blank.. the one that we had in the apartment that was in mum and dad’s room....was it an atari as well? I can still remember the serial number from the mouse..why I dunno, just like d to memorize numbers (A2845165053).

We had like a million game on there, my favourite were the adventure game. Kings Quest, Police quest. Leisure suit Larry.. All of which we had the walkthroughts and cheats for...

It’s so weird, I used to only use the computer or games and stuff, but now we have Playsations and Nintendo for games, computers are more for work....
And now I hae this wonderful Power Mac....amongst the other three that are in the basement dong god knows what...

So that’s what I remember about my first computer....Man have they come a long was. We still have the Apple II plus’s keyboard, and up until like a year ago, my mum was using the monitor as her tv.....The printer still works too.. But I don;t see ever using it again, remember taking off the edges of your pages??

I'm happy that we've always had computers. I can't imagine only starting to learn about them now. It's like learning a nw language now, it's so much easier when you are young....

Anyhow. I have so much moe to learn about computersa, and I lucky to have very coputer literate brothers who help me.. after all I and the administrator to the HP300 we have in out basement...

I have finally seen a good movie. Not only was it good, it was everything I love to see in a movie. This is probably THE best movies I have seen in a very very long time.

“Lord of the Rings” is the most incredible movie. From beginning to end I was absolutely captivated. I loved the cast, the characters, the scenery, the magic, the imagination...I loved just about everything about this move.

Since I had not yet read the books (which I plan on doing now) I had not ides what to expect.

To me, this is what movie making is about. It;s about imagination, fiction....Not about war and depressing lives..Well some of those other movies are good, but like movies that take some away from the everyday, take me away from reality. But the cool thing about this movie was the even thought you know it isn’t real, you kind of believe it sometimes. You sorta believed there are Hobits and Elves....or at least you wish they existed.

The movie was three hours long, but it felt too short, I wasn’t ready for it to end. Well it didn’t really end, there are two other movies coming out, one this Christmas and the next a year later....

And even after the movie was over, I got to enjoy like two hours of additional info and secrets and stuff from the DVD. And I have to say that I’m most likely going to buy it. That’s how much I loved this movie. I was even ready to watch it again today.(* and it didn’t hurt that Orlando Bloom was in it either...yummy!)

If you got nothing to do for three hours, may I suggest seeing this movie, if you like the fantasy type stuff. I’m sure it isn’t for everyone....but it is for me and I know my brothers agree.

On a scale of one to ten (ten being the best) a definite “10”

Know what I love about the week-end?
Waking up at noon thirty!

About my exciting day on thursday....
The day was going and usual. I had a busy morning but the afternoon was rather empty and I was wondering how I was going to fill it up....

Then a stylist that I have worked with before came in. She was shopping around for jeans to do a tv show. She asked if I could help her bring the bags to then location where it was being filmed. I asked my managers if I could go and it was alright so off we went. After lugging around six bags of jeans for a while we got to he place and I helped get her set up. Then she asked if I would mind staying to help her out. SO I did, I helped her set up the place, explained about our jeans yadda yadda yadda...

Then she asked it I would mind modelling some jeans on tv...Why not right? But then only problem was that she didn’t bring anything in my size...There was either size 2, 4 or ten...I’m a six. So they put me in a size ten and we just pretended that it fit. SO we had to try on jeans that fit our body type and then put on a pair that didn’t. And the ones that I put on were absolutely the worst pair of jeans that I have ever tried on. They were hight waisted, wide in the thigh and tapered at the ankle.....and on top of being on tv with a gross pair of jeans, I had to squat down and show my plumber butt so they could talk about how hard it is to find a jean that covers you arse....

So besides being a little embarrassing it was fun to be a part of it. Going trough the make-up, the takes..meeting people...It was really fun and my afternoon flew by! By the time I got back to work it was five thirty (and I left at one)

My ass is going to be on the tv...It’s going to be on a new show called ”Metamorphoses” with this girl Dani who used to be a fashion VJ on Musique Plus..I don;t really know what this will be on, but she said she’d let me know...This I got to see. And I’ll be sure to let you know when it’s going to be on so you all can laugh at my booty.

That was the exciting part of my day, the fun part came later.

Sylvie and I had made plans to got out on thursday night. So when I got home In showered and started to get myself ready. I had to be ready by ten I had a good few hours to shower, do my hair, my make-up and find something to wear. I decided on a black tube dress with strappy heels that hurt my feet but are too cute!

Off we went. It was Sylvie, Visar, Cathy (Sylvie’s sister) and myself. We were going to meet with Nancy and then go out./ So we met up with her and she ate and we drank and then we went out. Nancy didn’t come but suggested a new club that just opened. It was called the Moombo. It was really weird. There was a little line up (ewe got there at like midnight thirty-one o’clock) And they door man chose who he wanted to go in. If you were a guy, you had to have a least two girls with you to be able to go in..If you were a group of guys, you could forget it. So he “picked” us to go in and there wasn’t even a cover charge which is a little strange.. There wasn’t a bar either, you had to wait until a waitress came around to be able to order a drink.

This place was a restaurant/bar/lounge/dance club... Very weird. So there was a dance floor, them booths to “lounge in” an a restaurant upstairs. SO we walk around and the age group seemed to be like anywhere from 24 34??? Again, strange. SO we got some drinks and went to go dance and then we noticed these guys dancing next to us snorting coke!! What the hell? Was this some sort of druggy club? I wouldn’t be surprised....That place was weird. But we had fun just the same, we danced and laughed and left at around two cause all of your feet were hurting....

This palace reminded me of this club we used to go to when we were like 17-18. It was a biker club called “Le ... ( gee I don’t really remember the mane..)in St-Michel.Things were equally weird there.. cover was $5 and drinks were only $1. It could be a bottle of beer, a mixed drink or a shot and it was always $1, plus a $1 obligatory tip..But hey even then $2 a drink? Something was definitely up....Needless to say, that place closed down like six months after if opened and I wouldn’t be surprised it this Moombo place closed down soon too.


I had a really fun time. Visar is really funny and lots of fun. Despite the language barrier, we manage to communicate a little and we did some small talk... I’m so happy to have met him. I feel so much better about the entire situation.....

And that was my fun day, friday I had a “dentist appointment” and couldn’t make it into work so I slept in and then only thing I did was go downtown to pay my bills and return Marnie’s keys...Came e home and my mum and I rented two movies, “Lord of the Rings” and “IN the Bedroom”. We watched In the Bedroom last night..Zzzzzzzz Zzzz. What was up with the movies last year??They all sucked! I don’t know what any of them won academy awards??? I just don’t get it.They were all the same. People’s messed up lives and how much worse they could get. The only one I’ve semi-enjoyed was “A beautiful Mind” and even then, I found myself looking through magazines or doing other things while it was on... What a weird year for movies...My suggestion? Skip “In the Bedroom”, unless you like predictable, quiet, no dialogue movies...

At least I’m confident that “Lord of the rings” will be good, we are going to watch it soon casue the movies go back tonight...

So until later then, enjoy your week ends...!!

so much happy things to talk about..It's just been a "great feeling" few days, I dunno what it is (actually I do) but I'm just feeling happy..too bad I won't have time this evening..but I promiss that as soon as I get up tomorrow, I'll tell you all about it....

Stay tuned.....

Wednesday it is...

Another hot and humid day. Just the kind of weather that makes my fatigue tired. It feels like I’m carrying around a 50 pound backpack, my feet are dragging on the ground... Thank goodness that we have AC in our store. If we didn’t, I’m not sure I would be able to survive!

My sister has joined the Blogger bandwagon. She finally has her own little site to call her own. You can link to it in the column to your left, or just click HERE. It is such a good idea to have a journal, especially when you live fay away like she does, it keeps you in touch without having to worry about time differences and long distance costs...

And Aniter left on her vacation today. She s gone for like a week and a half I think?? Something like that. At least when she’s gone, there is double the work to do, so the days go by really fast ad I don;t miss her as much.

I may be going out with Sylvie and Visar this evening. We are supposed to meet up with a mutual friend for coffee, but since she hasn’t called yet, I’m not sure if we really are doing something or not. It would be nice cause she has pictured from her brother’s wedding to show us and I haven’t really had a chance to see her much since she’s been back.

I tell you. I’m really looking forward to some cooler weather. I love summer (now) but this humidity thing has got to go. I’m sitting here in my underwear and I’m still to hot!!

I’d better go, I need to get ready incase we are going out....I don’t ant to keep them waiting, cause they all know I take forever to get ready....

Until tomorrow!

I can easily say that today didn't go as well as yesterday.

I'm so tired. My bodyis tired. I was walking around with my eyes half closed all day long. I just feel tired inside and out. It seems that no matter how long I sleep, I just can't seem to catch up.

So this entry is going to be just this and no more. Just typing is too much right now. And it's not the heat. I'm actually cool and stuff, just my body, so tired

Check out the new link I put up to your left "LES PUGILISTS"...You can download a couple of their songs, real rockin'

Okay now I'm really going. My computer is acting a little funny. The type is only comming up on the screen like ten words behind...Sooo sloooowwww!!!

monday monday.la la la de da so good to me.....

yes It's Monday, and for the first time in a while, monday didn't seem so bad.

i had lots to do at work so time flew by. it helped that i had a doctor’s appointment at three and left early but i think that even if i had stayed for the entire shift, it would have GOne by fast...

so work went well, the doctor’s went well too, as well as a doctor’s appoINtment can Go i guess...

after all That , i went tO go see lucas at work, he had a little gift for me which I’m enjoying right now. and my friend spiro was right, it is all good times...

and then i went on a search for a remote for the tv in my room.I had to shop around a little. i was looking for one that had a “sleep” option But it provEd A little more difficult to fiNd. i hAd to shop aroUNd aT several different electronics places and all of the prices were all over the place. It went from $9 to $59!! all i wanted was a simple remote. a channel up and down, volume up and down, on/off, and a sleep. but all the ones that they have now control you dvd, tv, vcr, satellite, start your car, turn the oven on, program you computer...way too much for me.

so i finally found one for $20 at future shop, a rip off I’m sure but shopping around for another hour in the incredible heat and humidity wasn’t an option. so i got some batteries to and off i went to catch the train.
got home and ripped that remote open. then I programmed it to my tv and...nothing. i tried another code, nothing...tried all the codes, nothing. finally after a half hour trying things out, I got it to work, but the sleep option doesn’t seem to work. i know that my tv has one..so i don’t really know why it don’t work. it’s a little frustrating since i could have got something cheaper, but thems the brakes right?

and so now i’m here at home, waiting fo my calls to be returned and then I’m planing on going to bed early. i’m sooo wiped out. it feels like i haven’t slept for weeks, and it looks like it too.....can’t wait to take some time off and go to a spa....ahhh that’ll be good.

I woke up this morning to the sounds of drills, cement machines and other loud noises. The parking lot in front of the place I was staying at is getting paved and they seemed to find it necessary to start week at seven this morning.... And after a night of drinking...I wasn’t in the mood.

I closed this windows and put the pillow over my ears..It must of worked cause woke up six hours later, boiling hot from having the window closed and the sun was beaming right on my head. SO now I was hot, sweaty and hung over.

Last night my friend Mark from work came over. It was supposed to be a SATC night but even thought I put in the tape, we didn;t watch one single episode. We were so busy talking and talking, that we weren’t even paying any attention to the show. We had a really great time..(well at least I know I did). As it turns out we have lots in common and he’s just so dam funny!! (And before you ask, he is NOT a love interest....it don’t work that way with him) It was fun to just hang out an talk and laugh. It feels like I haven’t done that in a long time, so it felt almost liberating.. Strange I know. He stayed over until about midnight thirty and them after he left, I just kept on drinking. I rewound the SATC and watched one episode and the passed out on the couch.

So now my day was running late. I had every intention of getting up early ish, returning the blockbuster movies and cleaning and them going home in the late afternoon. But since I was up so late, I only got out of the house by quarter past three!

I was all ready to go, clothes packed, cat fed and I went to catch he bus to the six o’clock train. The only problem was..That there is no six o’clock train on saturdays, only a five thirty and a seven thirty.... And I only realized this when I got tot the station at five thirty two.

So now i had two hours to kill. I would have been happy to go shopping , but I had my backpack, purse, make-up box, and another bag overflowing with stuff...Not the best for shopping. So O decided to just be patient..very patient. I bought People magazine and read it from cover to cover, thinking at least and hour if not more had gone by,. But when I looked at my watch, only a half hour had gone by. SO now I was left to just sit and wait..entertainment free. I wasn’t about to spend anymore money on magazines. So I just sat there and thought about stuff. About my week, about what I’m going to do today about things that are bugging me. And eventually seven thirty came along and I was on my way home. I hoped on the train and my mum met me at the station and took me home.

Puppy was so happy to see me! She went bonkers. She brought me the doll I gave her and was running all over the place and jumping around. She followed me around for a while, staying close. She is so sweet.

And now, I’m feeling pretty tired. We (as in my family) are meeting tomorrow to shop and go out to bunch. Looking forward to that, but this means waking up pretty early an I’m not wanting to start my week off tired. I’m tired of being tired.

So I got to go un-pack and do laundry..

Goodnight!

My tummy, she is a hurtin'

Nothing a few quacks wont cure though.....SO thursday... Already thursday. the work week has been so darn crazy that it's gone by way too fast.....That's okay, cause now it's the week-end.....

I went home yesterday to do some laundry and tke some stuff home so I wont be too overloaded when I go back.

I got a TV for my room and my mum put the cable on. It's heaven. I love falling asleep to tv. The only thing is that I need a remote. I may go by a generic one at canadian tire tomorrow. Thank God our cable is back on. Being here all week with no cable hasn't been great. When you're used to cable, it's hard not to have it.

I finished work early yesterday. At aroung noon. So I decided to go check out the new department store that opened next door to us. Holy Moly! This thing is huge! IOt's really just like the mall I work inby higher class, with more expensive stores...Mmmmmmmmmmm expensive $$$$$...me likes.

I bought a few things at the Ana Sui counter, visited my friend who works at the Benefits counter and that was it. The amount of people that were there was insane!! It was their first day open so of couse there was a barage of people! There were ine ups to go up the escalator. Which is why I stuck to the ground floor. I can't wait to be able to check it out properly, when there wont be so many people.

Then I met up with my friend Cathy from MAC. We had a nice lunch and chatted a while. SHe is the sweetest person. Whenver I need a pick me up, I can count on her. I also went by Style exchange. I had bought the shrts my guy wanted, thinking they would be good for my brother but, alas, they were too small (they almost fit me..so no good for me brother). So I offered them to him. He bought them frim me and I stayed and chatted with him foir like a half hour. We just talked as if we had been friends for a long time.It was fun. he seems really nice, and since I can't have him as a boyfriend, I'll be happy to have him as a friend. So we talked ands talked and I gave him my card so that he can call me if he's going to to that Diesel photo shoot (which I hope he does) And he has my number if he wants to get together....the ball is in his court.

Talked to my sister today to. She called me at work. She's soo sweet. She had seen that in my journal last week I was feeling bad and she called to check up on me....How nice is that?It's cool bacause even though she is so far away, she knows what I'm talking about, what I'm thinking....

SO now I've eaten dinner, knitted a little and now I don't really know what to do. Maybe i'll go for a walk, but most likely, I'm going to knit a litle more and go to sleep. My body is freaking out from lack of rest. My tummy is grumble, my head hurts and I' m just feeling real tired...looking foward to my week-end. Friday nioght my friend Mark from work is comming here to watch SATC adn drink..Should be fun, he's a really funny guy.

I guess I'll tell you about it tomorrow. Now I'm going to try and find something to do..althougth doing nothing sounds pretty good.

A rather ordinary monday. Nothing special about it....

Worked a little later than usual, got here at about quarter past six, made myself some dinner, ironed my dress for tomorrow, made myself a luch, watched SITC and now I'm updating my journal.

Spoke on the phone a litle with Sylvie. Was happy to talk to her. She got in on thursday, but ahd been at her brothers wedding and then with family up until now so we haven't had a chance to talk much. I am hoping that we get together this friday and go out...do domething.... She may stop by tomorrow at work, that would be nice.

And now I'm trying to get sleepy without having to resort to sleep aids. I rely on them too much. I need to get sleepy on my own, but forcing yourself to get sleepy two hours before your regular bed time can prove difficult.

I have a real early start tomorrow. I plan to be up at five, outta here by six and have the movies bacvk to the blockbuster by at least six-thirty and that'll leave me just anought time to walk to work....hopefully.

I'm happy to hear that the weather will be chillin' for a while, it's going down to 18 tonite and the hight for tomorrow it like 22- perfect.

You ever get that feeling when you know you belong somewhere? Like it's meant to be that you go to a certain place? I have that feeling. I've had this feeling for like six years.... I think I may be ready to act on it soon. I'm not going to say anything else right now, so I don't jinx myself....But I think I'm ready.

**SPIRO!!!!! I HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS CASUE YOU DIDN'T COME AND SAY GOOD-BYE!!! i CAN'Y BELIEVE i'M NOT GOUING TO SEE YOU FOR LIE A MONTH!!!

I'm wishing you all the best. You deserve a vacation like this. I just know you are going to have so much fun.... I hear there are good clams there, but watch out, they can be hairy.....
I'm really going to miss you so you'd better write, you promissed you would. xxx ooo

So last night I had the most vivid dream I think I've ever had. It was so real infact, that I was even believing it later on in the day.

I had a dream that I had a baby. There was no giving birth stuff, I just had this little baby. It was mine, she was mine. She was so small adn I could even smell that baby smell all throughout my dream.

It wasn't particularily evenfull. It was like a full day of me with my baby. There didn't seem to ba a father, adn I wass the age I am now, still at home with my mum.

And all I did was just normal everyday mom things I guess. I held her, fed her, dressed her, bathed her.....The routine stuff I guess.

But the strange thing was, that i was happy. I was happy to have this baby. This is strange cause anyone that knows me knows that kids aren't my favorite thing....at least other peoples kids and non-related kids. I've nevr thought of myself as a mothely type. Ihave never had that "I gotta have a baby" feeling like most women do. It just never occured to me. Adn there I was in this eralistic dream, with my baby.

But the weirdness didn't stop there. Even after I had woken up, the first thought that came to my mind was to go check on my baby. Even hours later when I went to go do groceries, when I went down the baby food isle, I started to reach out my hand to get some....Hello Sue, you don't have a baby!!!

So it was really strange. I'm not saying that now I love babies and can't wait to have then, I'm not even saying that I want one....I'm justy saying that it wasn't sooo bad, at least it wasn't in my dream.

I just wastched " A beutiful Mind". It was definatly better thatn Montster's Ball, but just a good movie to me. Nothing super extraordinary.... I guess it's cause these movies were so hyped up that seeing them like a year later.... I guess the hype just led to disapointment.

Time is ticking away and I want to try and get to bed at a good time. I work tomorrow at eight, which isn,t bad at all considering that since I'm staying in town, I can sleep in for and extra half hour, which doesn't seem like much but and extra half hour at six in the morning is a lot to me.

I like having this time alone.It gives me time to think about stuff adn to just do and go anywhere. not that I fel trapped at home, but it is fun to be here on my own. It's like moving out boot camp.

Well the good news is that I don't have to work tomorrow. This makes me very happy because I wanted to spend the day walking around and bnot doing very much and now I can.

And the bad news? Well, that's for me to know.

SO today I got up a little too early. I had slept on the couch rather than upstairs because it was so humid. The couch is comfy, but it's leather so even thought I had put a sheet over it, it was still hot as a mo-fo. I spent most of the night tossing and turning. When I did get up, I casught a glimps of myself in the mirror. (*note to self, never stay over a t a guys house) I looked like hell. I was so puffy and sticky-hot that I loked like I had gotten the crap beaten out of my face. Not a pretty sight, and definatly not a sight for anyone to see but me!

So I pulled myself together, watched some tv and went home to get some stuff I had forgotten and meant to pick up yesterday but didn't.

So I travelled most of the day, and when I got back here I just felt like walking. SO I went to get movies at the Blockbuster. It's a bit of a walk, it took me just about an hour of leisurly walking to get there. I picked up the first four episodes of the second season of Sex in the City, adn I got Monster's Ball.Then I enjoyed the walk back. Teh temperature had gone down and there was this lovely breeze. I took a few detours and wandered here and there, and eventually got here and to my surprise, I had been out for nearly three hours! That's a lot of walking, no wonder my feet fel so tired now.

Just finished watching Monster's Ball. I don't know how I feel about it. I don't think I asw what everyone else saw. It was good, but something..I dunno. I think it was just to heavy for me and I found myself thinking about other things and not really payin attention. I'm going to save SITC for tomorrow. Cause there isn't any cable here and no cable means no ggod TV., well not always, but most of the time.

And now here I am. Not really sure whatto so. It isn't yet time for SNL, the dishes are done, the cleaning is done, I guessa ll that's left to do it knit a few rows on my blanket and just relax, cause that's why I'm here right?

so..moving on.

I'm here at Marnie and Dave's...and it's not just hot, it's fucking hot. Like body melting hot. The windows are wide oopen and the fan is on full blast and still I can't find any relief from the hot. My body feels like there is a layer of water between the skin and the fat..I feel thick.

I know I know..I'm complaining about the weather, somthing I hate, but really, how can you know when it's like 40 degrees out and the humidity is at 100%?

I think I'm just going to take a cool shower and try and get some sleep.

SO my day today went well. It seemed to zoom by real fast. I didn't really remember eating luch at all, and the morning is a blur.....I really had to sit here for a while and think about what I had eaten for lunch...I think my brians have melted.

After work my brother and I went shopping. Our first stop: Style Exchange, home of the cute boy I've been lusting after. Well we go there and sure enough cute boy comes up from behinfd me and says hello and we talk and talk blah blah...I offer him a coupon to come to our disount day at work.He's been super nice and chatty and then it happens....he says it and as he is my chest feels heabvy and I kind of get that pueky feeling. He says:"Sorry, I really want to go but me and my GIRLFRIEND are going to her parent's place......" adnt afte he said tht i wasn't really listnening anymore. I didn't really need to but I kept on acting as if I didn't have a huge crush and him and like I didn't care......By this time I got the embarasswed rash on my chest (Aniter, you know what I'm talking about...but fro the rest of you, I get a red rash all over my chest when I get really embarased) which was seen by all because I was wearing my new scoop necktop....bad move Sue..bad move. He went on to invite me to a perty tonight. It's a m idnight shoping thing at a new store called fly.. I was considering going, just being a little adventurous and going, but
#1, it' s way the fuck too hot
#2 I won't know anyone there, except hot guy-with-a-girlfriend, and now that I know he's taken, wht's the point?
#3 it's at midnight and I'm already in jammies

But whatever right? Something good did copme out of it...if that's possible. I was carrying MY HUGE make up case and he asked what was inside and adn I told him it was make-upn and he asked if I was a make-up artist and I say yes I am. SO then he goes on to say that they are going to be doing a photo shoot for diesel (apparently they do their own shoots at the store, and he photographs them) and he wanted a local make-up artist to to the work, and he asked if I'd be interested... like duh, of course I am. Nothing is for sure and knowing this guy, he may forget, but I know I wont and I' m going to remind him......SO hopefully this will work out and I'll get this gig....It would be great to put something like that in my portfolio.

oh yeah funny thing, he was asking whwer I live and when I told him, he said oh do you know Amanda...He didn't even have to say her last name. I knew the bitch he was talking about. I had worked with this girk for many a summer at the water slides, hated her then and would most likely hate her now. Not only do I hate her becasue she is tall, thin and pretty, but because she was going out with a guy I really liked, and him and I had a history and she got in the way of a bunch of stuff...such a long stoery and sooo long ago, all to say I dno't like this girl one bit. She is hot guy with a girlfriend's best friends girl....fuck her....I can't stand her..even talking about her here is maddening.....uhg.

SO them it was off to MAC, I had an appoiontment to get amakeup done, was a little late but it didn't really matter. My good friend Cathy was there and she did my make-up anh we had a great time catching up and chatting the way us girls tend to do. I looked so good after she was done with me, not to be vain or anything....But my skin looked so eaàven and healthy and radiating, not a blemish in sight. She did this really nice smokey look wuith purples and whit... really intense. Bought some stuff...of course and then Lucas met bacvk with me and we went off to Indigo.

At lndiog, I picked up a German phrase book so I can try and comunicate with Sylvie's husband Visar. I've talked about them before here....I'm not going to anymore though, well not right now. That entire situation is a little sensitive right now and I don't feel right talking about it here, even though it would feel good to get it all out. I'm going to give it my all, just stop being so selfish, get over it and deal quietly.
case closed.

And after that I came here and was hot, watched The Osbourns (I'll still bring it to lunch club Aniter, I wasn't really paying attention, so I missed a lot) And now here I am, finally updating. The lace is quiet, it's quiet outside, no doggie to walk, just quiet kitty who likes to mind her own buisness.....

I haven't been updating, but it's all for a good reason. I wont go into right now, but let me just say this:
I AM THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN THE WORLD, or at least I feel like I am...I feel like I'm about two inches tall....
I was wrong about just about everything and now I see that and I feel like total kak.
I am the smut of the earth...
I'm too hot to explain tonight, but I will tomorrow evening, when I can.
I'm babysitting Marnie and Dave'a house again. But this time, no doggie, just the cat. SO I have the freedom to come and go as I please without having to worry about the dog walks....

It's my fortress of solitude, it's just too bad Clark wont be there too....