September 11.

It’s pretty hard to write about anything else today, even thought there are happier things to talk about.

On just about every tv and radio channel, there a re memorials, tributes, prayers, speeches, silence, you name it.

It’s such a touchy subject. I can remember everything, or just about everything about last year. I was a t work and a manager was visiting our store and came in and said that a plane had git the World Trade Tower. I felt funny. I thought what a terrible accident. I thought it was an accident until I hear that another plane had hit the other Tower. Then another crashed down, one hit the Pentagon...These were not accidents at all. And that’s when I felt scared. Even thought the attacks were miles away, what was stoping them from happening here? At this point nobody had an idea of what was going on. We just kind of went on our day at work, feeling strange. I went to a doctors appointment, came back to work and just felt awful. Anita and I went outside, I remember crying an not really being able to believe what was going on. It was hard to imaging the severity of it. You had to see it. And at this early point there were lots of stories going on because no one really know what exactly was going on. I think we left early, and when I came home I put the tv on right away, I needed to see what was happening. But when I did, the only thing I could to was watch with my mouth hanging open and say “Oh my God”. Now it was real. This wasn't another exaggerated story, this actually was happening.

Watching it on tv made it all real, but much to real. I had never thought about war in my time. I never thought it really possible, I thought that we were better than that and that we could all just live our lives as they were. I was really scared. Scared because when would it end? Was this just he beginning of something bigger? Was I in danger? I know this sounds selfish but I was really freaking out. I wanted my family to be here, all here with me.

All night we watched the news. It was very frightening. To think that all this time someone had been planning an attack. Taking time to train these terrorists and the organizing...It was just too much.

The there was all the anthrax attacks, suicide bombing.... What the hell was going on?? (And IS going on I guess...)

I have to admit that I was happy when things started to get back to normal. By normal I mean people were back at work, tv shows went back on the air, the front pages of the paper were no longer about the attacks, the news was reporting other things.. It felt good because it was no longer the only thing happening in the world. Things will most likely never be “normal” again, but routines have gone back to what they were at least..

And now it’s been a year. Which I can’t believe. One full year has gone by.

Last night I was watching a documentary. It was so interesting. Interesting because it was about the after effects of the twin towers falling. Nothing about terrorists, just about the buildings and about what to do next. Most want them to rebuild the towers bigger and stronger, but can you imaging rebuilding them? Who would want to work in there? Who would want to go into a building that’s built on a grave site?

All day they are showing these documentaries. I don’t think I can take that much remembering, I don’t think I want to do that much remembering...

I do think that it is a bit much to have ALL the channels showing something. I find that it just makes the fear and anger re-emerge. I understand that each channel is a different network and they all want to do something, but maybe a special tonight would have been enough, then again, I don’t think I really have any opinion in this, I wasn’t there and thankfully didn’t know anyone who was.

It’s pretty strange to hear different people’s stories about last year and how they have coped with it. Some are using humour,some are quiet, some are talking about it, but the thing is, everyone is surviving, somehow.

And me, how do I feel about it all? Sad. I feel sad for all the people that died, for their surviving families. I feel bad that there’s no closure for a lot of people. When I see the news report, and see the planes crashing my stomach feels empty and I feel sad. But I feel better when I think of how people are getting on with their lives.

I just look forward to a time when terrorism and war is a thing of the past.