It's now just past one thirty, saturday morning, just got home from work not too long ago......sooo awake.....

It was new collection night at the ol Gap, and what a waste of time it was. No one was organized, nothing got completely done. The first five hours of my nine hour shift were a little bit of a waste of my time....I could go on, but I'd rather not.

It's already June.....1/2 the years has gone by, and what do I have to show for it? Not much. I started out the year thinking this is THE year. The year that I'm gonna do something with my life, not just sit here and be scared and worry about stuff. This was suposed to be the year I got my dream job working as a make-up artist....Mind you the year isn't over yet, but time seems to be flying by.

The thing is I don't think I really know what I want out of life. I mean I have dreams and all that but they are really out there and impossible to attain....But what am I suposed to be doing now? It seems like everyone is on their way to be "something" and I'm just here. Just sitting here doing nothing but waiting, waiting for what I don't know but I'm getting a little tired of it. I think I need to get out of here. Not for good, but I think I need to experience life, whatever it is. I think I've secluded myself too much and now I'm 24 and have no idea about the world around me. I need to get out more, and maybe, dare I say it, travel...???? I guess the truth is I'm having one of those "what am I doing with my life" moments. But is travelling the solution? Or do I just need to find "myself"? I hate saying that, it sounds sooo very "fromage" but it's true. I'm feeling a little lost and perhaps the first step is just sitting down anbd figuring out just what it is I want from life. What is it that I want to achieve? It's not that I'm unhappy, quite the opposite. I'm the happiest I've ever been. I love my job, my family is the best, I have great friends.....but I still feel like something is missing. I'm not getting younger. I know I'm not old and people say "oh 24? Your just a baby, your so young..." Yeah I'm young, but I'm not even finished school, have no idea what I'm going to be, no savings or financial stability....as far as I'm concerned, 24 is very old to not have any of those things.....I need a plan. I'll feel better once there's a plan.

I don't always feel this way, and what brought it on is me being jealous over something sooo stupid....I guess I'm just feeling a little insecure at the moment.

Ten to two now, I think it's best if I just try and go to bed, being up late makes my mind go to mush, incase you haven't noticed.....